Today was a bad day for my head. It hurt terribly all day long

It was a long dark day.  I was supposed to help Drea sell cupcakes today in Kingswood at the rummages.  Normally this would be a busy and somewhat anxiety filled adventure.  She needs to raise money for her and Carol/Victoria food truck.  It is interesting to watch them work, when they're baking.  Like last night.  I was making signs.. 😎 Using my creative side.  Doing what I do. They get this magic rolling.  Damn Robert. He's an idiot. But it rained all day today.  Like steady downpour.... ☔had to go buy an umbrella even.  It was cold too.  One of Dreas ladies didn't even open so I didn't have to do anything. I hung with Sonny and the kids... We went to a few rummages but I hate to be wet.  Boo 😱. Then mom got sad because she was alone so I had to bring her kids And now I am home alone.  Time to do homework.  Maybe accomplish something with my day.  😜

Beautiful Creature💙

Hairs getting longer now.

I can put it back in a clip,  a tiny one.  I can't use a hair band. I can use a headband tho.

So today I had to have another set of MRIs because after my shunt placement and the relief I had,  I've been having headaches everyday. There isn't anything I can do about it either.... I take medicine.  Nothing.  I lay down,  wake up and head hurts. I take PRN meds to help. Nothing.  So now I've been back to two Dr's and they think on of my caths is kinked.  I don't know what to think,  this isn't supposed to happen for eight years.  Nothing is suppose to happen for eight years.  And it happens now at the most inconvenient time,  when my mom is slowly but surely dying.  One day I am going to wake up and she's no more.  😨😱😰😞💙💔. Then every thing is going to change.  Mom is glue basically.  But Tierra isn't gonna have Mom on her side anyone to hear her out....  It will be what I say....once I get custody.  I don't know ,it's gonna be tough.  Moving with my ladies.  Moving on with my life. My head maybe hurts from all the stress and nothing is wrong.  😀. Wouldn't that be easy.  Huh?

This has been a long week and as a result, my hair has become even longer.

This has been a long week and as a result, my hair has become even longer. It is getting really fuzzy. I gotta be careful with headbands or it leaves a dent. LOL. That doesn't happen. I hope when it gets longer that it parts the same way. 

I have gotten the staples taken out of my back. It has stopped leaking. The side is still leaking a little bit, but the doctor gave me medicine so that it doesn't get infected. Otherwise, the headaches seem better. I am so used to getting up and going about my life that I don't pay attention. Should I stop and pay closer attention or should I just keep going? 

Yesterday was the family Christmas (Kock/Merry). It was fun and Mom had a good time. The kids had a good time and so did I. The vest I am wearing, in the photo below, is from Grandma Judy. She also gave me a wonderful gift and I got some new color books. I love those, they are beautiful. The pictures come to life when I color them. 

Josh is probably going to miss Christmas and that sucks. He will still be in the hospital, instead of at Nana's. He will go directly from the hospital to CHS once again. Not coming home. It will be painful. Today Mom went to visit and he didn't even say anything when they left, he just got up and wandered off. He will get presents from other places and he will spend his valuable childhood Christmas in another place, again. It is so unfair to all the other kids. Holly will have a few nice things, but not like Josh. One of his teachers is getting him the hookup. 

We are going to go to Uncle Mark's this year. Mom wants to. She wants to do a nice Christmas this year. I suppose I can do that. Hopefully Mom doesn't kill Megan while we are there, or Tierra. OMG, I can imagine that weekend. Can't you. Mom sitting in a corner, staring at people. Evilly. 

Staples....New Solutions

The doctor and I have been playing tag all weekend, so after he was in surgery all night last night, I rushed to the office so he could see me. So there was a leaky spout and the doctor decided to use staples (4 of them) to close it. I hope this holds it closed. It didn't hurt when he stapled it yesterday day, but it is kinda sore now. It was funny, I am standing over the table, getting these staples and he is like "people usually scream when I do this" and I am standing there talking to Marley, who is coloring by my face. It was funny.....to me at least. Mom is in the hospital now....has been for a couple of days......all the stress of Josh and taking care of me got to her, wore her down. She needed to take care of herself. Hopefully she will stop feeling bad for herself. I know that she is lonely now, but once tomorrow happens and we bring Douggie's surprise up to the hospital, that should make it a little better. He found an instructable about how to make fountre cookies with crescent dough. It should be fun. 

Now onto the "informal" Thanksgiving at Drea's. There is going to be a bunch of people coming and I am so excited. It will be with my entire "Family", The one I have created and the people who love me. This will be awesome. 

Thoughts

Last night, I went out with Andrea and Victoria and danced my ass off. I didn't push my limits. I didn't jump around, but I danced. I moved around and made sure that if I was getting uncomfortable, not to push it, but to go smoke a cigg. It was nice. I had an awesome time. I am glad I have the friends that I do. They are amazing and we didn't even go out for me last night, we went out for Victoria. Apparently she is feeling like one of her brothers which is crazy because all painted up last night, she looked amazing. She was dancing her ass off too.

 

Victoria is the one who's tongue is within thier mouth. Her husband made a remark about how women are always supposed tohave hair and that we are not as attractive without hair. She is feeling unpretty and that is not ok. We needed to go out and I am glad I got to go. Drea was a little more than drunk. She kept telling us she was going "downtown", It was so fun, I love them ladies. I am lucky to have found such wonderful frinds. 

We are doing a informal Thanksgiving becuase Vivotia works on Thursday because it is Black Friday and she is in charge of something......maybe importnat. She told me, not quite sure I remember. I do know she has to work. I know that we are going to have like 20 people. We are going to have Drea, Nunu and the girls, Victoria and her family, Nana and kids, Sonny, Marley and I and the few other people that we invited. It is going to be nice I hope. It will be amazing, trying to stay positive. I am making the vegetables because my man friend is so specfic about the vegetables because he does like sweet potatoes and Drea likes cranberry sauce. I am making potatoes because thiere like are 300 ways to make potatoes. I know it is funny but I really want potatoes now. it is shitty. BOOOOO.