Today is the first day of the rest of my Life

So I've had these terrible headaches since I was little, like 10  years old.  Sometimes it would just be annoying and I would be in a bullshit pissy mood or there were ones that landed me in the emergency room. They would come and they would go. Doctor would give us different reasons and treatments for them until finally I was fed up listening.

I decided I was going to turn my life around and go to college online which was all find and dandy until my eyes began to hurt from so much reading, so I decided I probably needed glasses. I needed them when I was pregnant,but no other time.  While at the eye doctor he did all kinds of tests on me to determine that I had Papilledema. Which is swelling of the optic nerve. This is bad. It can make you go blind. I was freaking out. 

The eye doctor set up my first appointment with neurologist. I was terrified. I didn't want to think something was wrong with my brain. But apparently in my case, it wasn't true. I have pseudotumor cerebri. My brain thinks there is a large tumor. It presses down on my eyes, causing the papilledema. My pressure inside my skull is too high. It was something that was alien to me. I was shocked.

There are so many things wrong with me medically now a days that I can't believe I even still go to the doctor. I hate doctors and I go all the time.